Picture a social event and everyone is taking notice to that person in the room that just walked in. There is nothing spectacular except that this person exudes a glow that leaves you in awe. You of course, go back to your networking and meet amazing people throughout the night. You get home and wonder to yourself what did that person do that was so different than what you did.

The truth is that there is nothing different except that the other person had the confidence and owned the room. This person was not afraid to be him/her self, and made sure that everyone take notice. The likelihood that this person had also gained some sort of envy is definite. But who said that it was wrong to be yourself? I respect those that are okay being themselves; it is up to you to chose to accept them. I am not advocating that you accept certain things; the beauty is that we get to pick and choose whom we want in our lives.

My perspective and experience dictates that those who are comfortable in their own skin tend to tune out the negativity and focus on what matters. They take notice to what counts and disregard the rest. By nature, I am a really private person and only share with certain people in my life. However, I do consider myself an extrovert and love to meet new people and make a difference. It may sound like an oxymoron to you, but it works for me. Out of all the people that you have come across, how many of them do you really know that well enough with your very private matters? Not that many I bet.

The reason why I started this series was a way for me to teach you to focus on what matters. Take every single moment and treasure them. The final piece is that by learning to embrace living in the moment and recognizing your fears. All of us have fears and they come up at what feels like at a really inconvenient time. In all honesty, I am not afraid to be me. I believe that I do the best that I can and if one cannot accept me for who I am (which means the most positive and some negative traits) then he/she is not important enough to make a difference now and even later.

I hope that you enjoyed reading these series as much as I have had in sharing with you. Until the next post, happy reflecting!

I remember when it was raining on me – things were not going right for the life of me. It was a time where my most treasured friends turned out to be otherwise. By nature, I took a lot of this grief on and a lot of the blame. The one thing I did learn was that it was okay for me to react to my own emotions. I was able to reach out to one of my closest friends, and she really made me see the light. I was justified in the way I felt and that I was not doing myself a favor by taking all the blame.

Her time and continued support have always been with me and I really do count on her to this day for guidance because I know she will not steer me the wrong way. Over time, we heal and name them or battle wounds. I call it my time and experience, all is forgiven and I have moved onto better things. This allowed me to finally experience and react to things that matter. This is not an overnight fix or anything – as all things require time before you get to see a big difference.

When you get a paper cut you get a reaction. If it is a small one it will sting more than you realize. You flinch in pain and do something to fix it. This is a reaction.

You go on first date with a guy goes well and you want to see him again. You get a euphoria that you can’t even explain to your own friends. That is a reaction.

The graduate program that you have been long trying to gain acceptance into arrives. Your life changes for the next few years. That is a reaction.

There are so many occurrences in our lives but they all provoke a reaction within us. The first date, school, new job or car, making a new friend, or meeting your life partner that will evoke more reactions than one even express. That is the beauty of life and we have the chance to make it the best. So go out there and react to what is around you. You won’t regret it.

Have you noticed that when you stop and help someone else that simple random act of kindness will make your day that much brighter? Personally, I enjoy helping others because it’s a great feeling when you know you have a difference in someone else’s life. Part of the reason why I started this blog, is so that I can help others through my writing. I have a great network and support system but I also wanted to help those that are hesitant to ask for help or they don’t know where to go for resources.

Don’t get me wrong not all of my days are like rays of sunshine, and even I too have one of those days. But I find comfort in helping a friend by lending my ear so that I can listen and guide. It is a simple thing to do and you can help others in many ways. I find it fulfilling when I have the opportunity to help others. I forget the current situation in my life because I am allowing myself to live in the moment of helping someone else.

No matter how busy I am if someone asks for help, I will do my best to be there. I found that my most rewarding times were in high school as a candy striper. As I worked in the NICU unit I was able to learn and help the nurses so that their day was a bit less stressful. It taught me a lot about the value of time and how the little things can just make the biggest difference. I did not have to be there but I chose to make it my activity and it has left a mark since. I may not be able to devote the same amount of time as I did in high school, but I can certainly find time to help anyone that comes across my path. So this week try to help someone, a non-profit organization, or even your family and friends. You will make a difference in someone else’s life and that is priceless.

I have noticed that when I am going through a lot I tend to face it head on. I rather face it than to hide it, because when I do have down time I do not want to be reminded of what is not going so well in my life. We all know that life is not perfect, but we only have this one life and I want to make sure that I leave my footprint in this world.

We are invested in our lives, whether we see it or not. It could be your friendships that allow you to grow together or grow apart. I have found that it is not the number of years that you may know someone that makes them your best friend. It is how much effort both parties make to build and grow as friends. You learn to discuss and of course, confront certain situations with friends that may be awkward. We have all been there – confrontation is no one’s pick by all means.

I learned that the closest of friends are the ones that I can actually speak to and they will listen. When I am faced with certain situations that made me feel like I was mistaken or hurt, I have the strength to talk it out. However, the more toxic friendships where I was unable to really convey how I felt without being blamed have been removed from my life. Investing in your own life takes time but it also allows you to grow as a person. It is a wise person who once said, that ‘you need to take care of you, the rest shall follow.’ Speaking from experience, it holds true for me. The minute I removed certain aspects from my life and placed stronger focus on what I needed to do great things started to occur. Sometimes it was the little things and at times a few greater ones.

Instead of sitting back and not really getting involved, take the step and just do it. Call your friends and your family and schedule in time to spend quality time together. Try to learn something new and invest in them as they have invested in you. We are fortunate to be blessed with people in our lives, so take notice and do something about it. It really is as simple as that.

This is the most important skill I believe that will allow you to develop and maintain your relationships. We learn to speak, read, and communicate at a very early age. As children we are very open to showing and speaking out. In fact, if you notice children do not hesitate to say what is on their mind nor do they hide their feelings. I still wonder why it is that as adults we sometimes lose the art of communication. Part of it is directly related to the fact that of course, we need decorum. You can’t always say what is on your mind; it could pose to be an awkward situation.

So with that said, sometimes we do get caught up with life and tend to really engage in communicating with our loved ones. It is easy to dwell in the situations that life presents to you however, take a step back. Part of living in the moment is to engage directly with your network. Not that I am the next American Idol, but I am a great fan of dancing. Part of learning to communicate is to also take part in activities that are outside of your element.

Here are a few ways for you to get back in gear by trying new ways to communicate:

I hope that these tips help you to get out there and do things for yourself. One thing I have learned is that you have to do things for you, no one else will do it. So take the leap, it is hard in the beginning but once you start you will only play harder.

When I first learned about the art of meditation – I was in awe of those that have the focus and concentration to do it. You do not have to take it in the literal sense, after all meditation takes practice. What I do believe is that we tend to get so busy with our lives that we tend to not take the time to just sit back and focus on what matters. As adults we tend to over think at times, we are all guilty of it. Instead, it helps to just focus on one goal and see where life takes you.

Here are a few tips to help you when you want to relax and focus:

Finally, try to take the time to focus on you. In a very busy society we all tend to not take that time to do ourselves that justice. So do that for you. ☺

As you tie your shoelaces you can only stop and imagine how far you will go today before you run out of breathe. You inch your first few steps as you gradually pick up pace. The feeling of the air that is breezing across your face and caressing your hair overcomes all of your thoughts. Time passes and the cold air can be heard within your breath as you move along the trail. Life doesn’t seem so bad anymore. In fact the moments you spend running, you feel a sense of freedom that you didn’t have before you left home.

I utilize running as my primary activity as a tool for self-healing. I use it in healing my negativity, anger, and upsets that life may throw my way. I have come to learn all those elements within my thoughts lead me to experience a life that I do not wish to have. Running allows me to dispose all my negativity and not possess the thoughts that deny my progress in this world. I like to think of running in not just a physical sense but also for the mind and body.

At times our work may seem small and meaningless. Often our efforts seem large for a somewhat small reward. However, with running you must not stop until you are out of breathe. You must consciously set forth the effort to never give up. If you were lost in the forest, you would run as quickly as you can to find your way out. Let’s not also forget that darkness comes as the sun sets so you may also lose your sense of direction. When that happens focus on these tips to help you breathe:

Just like Nike’s famous tagline “Just Do It.” You must.

What is life without a few laughs? It is a simple concept but as adults we sometimes take life too seriously. Whether we choose to believe it or not – then again look at children they can easily laugh at themselves. The truth is that life is continuously moving forward, whether we wallow in our worries or what we do not have. Or we can try to look at the good things in our lives and enjoy the joys that come our way.

Even in the most darkest times of my life – and believe me we all have them in some shape or form I learned to smile and laugh. I surrounded myself with positive people and stayed active so that I can keep my life going as usual. I didn’t bury myself in work but I did face what occurred in my life. However, one thing I did not do was wallow I talked it out with a few close friends. I then proceeded to volunteer my time with a non-profit and never felt better. It was beyond rewarding because I was able to educate and laugh along the way.

These precious months allowed me to grieve but it also gave me the gift of focusing on the things that matter. I felt free and of course, soaked in the moments that brought me joy. When you are in a rut or feel like life has thrown you a lot of lemons then focus on these things that will bring you laughter:

Have a great rest of the weekend – and take the time to sit back and enjoy a few laughs!

I remember how much pride I took in caring for my first set of Crayola crayons. It was a big milestone in life – as a child I had the Crayola carousel. I felt like I was on top of the world, then again I was roughly a few years old but for me it was enough. These crayons allowed me to really use my imagination as I sat there diligently drawing and coloring in my Disney princess books. Life was simple as a child but the one thing I have not lost is the fact that I am a total kid at heart.

To this day I really like to utilize my artistic skills whether it is with a paintbrush or even scrapbooking. I feel that not only is it relaxing but it allows you to also relax at the same time. Life can get pretty hectic sometimes but that does not mean that you cannot allow a little bit of time for you to the arts. It is a simple concept; I am sure that if you are in a meeting at work or in school you likely doodle in your notebook. Some may call it a time-waster but for some people they can really create a work of art.

Here are some ways that you can take a little bit of time out of your schedule to create something for you or your loved ones:

I hope that these tips help you to focus and create something for you.

Depending on your career you may not really have the time to savor or fancy your meals and snacks. Most of us are always on the go and rarely do we get the chance to really appreciate that morning cup of tea/coffee. I used to be that person that would just jet out of the door and make sure I beat the boss into work. Then I would go and make myself my own cup of tea, but I really didn’t appreciate it because there was always a pile of work on my desk.

However, I made that change for myself when I started to really enjoy my time whether it be at lunch with good company. My career became a job and that was not a great sign either. I knew change had to come within me. I had big decisions to make and of course, I had to face them sooner than later. When I came at that crossroad in my life, I realized that what helped me is to enjoy the little things in life. After all, most of us in America are raised with the ideals that are to work in order to live. Of course, not all of us are that type, I of course, am not in that mold at all. It is hard though to really make the best of things especially when you start to lose the appreciation of all the little things in our lives.

To make a long story short, I went on a hiatus and finally started doing things for myself. From a very busy scheduled life I virtually went to a standstill. It felt great in the beginning to have to not worry and as a result, I felt rejuvenated all over again. Not to sound so over the top, but I felt like I got my youth back. I was able to enjoy the little moments like waking up relaxed versus waking up to rush out the door to work. I enjoy my cup of tea every morning whether I have to be up early or not. If you cannot make that much time for yourself then really who is going to get the blunt end of the stick?

So here are a few tips or possible ways that you can try for yourself. At the end of the day, it is really just being focused and that can be difficult at times but not entirely impossible. You won’t be disappointed it may be a challenge at first but who said anything was ever really that easy?

This small list can easily turn into a laundry list but I want you to write out what makes you feel focused or perhaps any type of food or beverage that allows you to relax. It will be surprising even for you!