It is time that we change the cycle and bring it back to positive thinking and knowing that you are not alone. I sometimes am guilty of feeling helpless, but that only happens when we allow ourselves to feel that way. None of us are perfect, that is what makes us human. A wise friend sent me this by Pink and it just spoke so clearly that I felt compelled to share this with you. It gave me comfort enough to take a deep breath and embrace the goodness that is to come.

Enjoy!

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don’t care?

It’s only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you’re not alone?
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It’s only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight…

-Pink “Glitter in the Air”

2009 is one year that has had many opportunities, struggles, and self-realizations for me. I learned that who you may believe is your closest friend could turn out to be a fluke. I learned that life is full of abundant surprises and that I can get through anything if I put my mind to it.

So with that noted this is the end of 2009 – where we can look back in all of its glory. Hope that things are going to get better because they have too. It is the way it works. ☺ I believe that this year has come to an end but the new year will be filled with many lessons to be learned – to make us a bit more humble and appreciative of what we have. My wish for my readers is that look forward to 2010, because it will be great to see what is to happen.

I have been fortunate to have such amazing people in my life. There have been some that have left a footprint in my life, which will remain with me for the rest of my life. Then there are some secrets that I still hold for those who are no longer in my life.
The thing about secrets is that some people may use it against them for their own benefit. I believe that secrets are what keeps some people together and other apart.

I have a former friend whom I believed would be by my side throughout our phases in life. Perhaps time or selfish motives changed everything. In the time that we were friends we shared many memories and secrets. Of course, was I thoroughly disappointed and hurt when I was brutally ignored and put aside in the most crucial time for a friendship? Absolutely.

Someone else in my position would have likely been one to confront and put the matter to rest. I however, feel that by just letting go and realizing that I did nothing wrong helps me to work through what happened. I realize that it takes the other person’s effort to make things right. My tendency is to forgive and embrace a friendship – but this time around the likelihood is that it will take me a little longer.

We shared many secrets and those I will keep with me, as it is not my right to reveal them. in friendships, you have to realize that when things do not go right we can put our best foot forward and that is usually enough. Remember, it takes two people to make any relationship work.

I try really hard not to judge people because not everyone is as outgoing as I am. There are some people who are shy and they need time to really get to know someone before they can feel comfortable enough to establish trust. I believe that everyone is giving and trusting, but it can take one suspicion or doubt that changes it all. It is so important that you work on developing your personality so that you put your best foot forward even when faced with adversity. An individuals’ persona is determined not when the waters are calm, but when the storm approaches. It is how you handle those tough times in relationships, and situations. Your character and personality are dependent on how people will see you. Most importantly, they will value you based upon your actions. At the end of the day, you have to face yourself in the mirror. You will have to answer to yourself.

I learned after many bumps in the road and of course, the many hard lessons in life. It is a lesson that taught me to prioritize my life so that I place myself first. This happened over time as a result of self-realization and some tough love.

It is easier to be there for others at times and deflect so that you don’t place focus on yourself. I would not be surprised if you felt as though your life was revolving in a cycle, awaiting change. Why do we wait to help ourselves when it is so that much easier to help others? It is not wrong to help others, but you don’t want to be known as the push-over type either. Trust me – I have been there and done that.

As much as I would love to go into more detail – that will come later. As all good things, they are worth the wait. My story is always evolving and I learn so much more about myself on a daily basis. But in the meantime – here are my tips to help you take that ‘leap forward’:

Make a Life List
What I mean by a ‘life list’ is the 100 things that you want to accomplish in a lifetime. It can be something very basic as reading War & Peace to learning a foreign language. Don’t over think it just write or type what comes to mind. Post it up on your wall or inside your cabinet where you can see it everyday. I started this a while back myself, and I add to it as I accomplish a few of my ‘life list’ goals. My inspiration came from an aspring and talented woman who lost her life to the 9/11 tragedy. Her parents found her list and have since then inspired others to do the same. She is an example of someone we can all learn from – cherish your life and all that you can do in this lifetime.

Seek Out Help
We are all guilty of this – you know not asking for help even though we need it. Ok, well maybe not all of us. I am that person in the room who just did ever work up the nerve to ask for help. I know it is such a simple concept. Of course, by learning the hard way I slowly learned to seek out help from those that I trust and that will guide me when I seek their advice.

Put Me First
As strange as it may sound have you ever really put yourself first? At one point or another you have put everyone else before yourself. So that means if your friends are in need you will take on their woes as well. It is not bad to be there for everyone – it’s a great quality to have as an individual. I love being there for my family and close friends – but I also learned that I too needed to make time for myself. Find activities or a hobby that you enjoy and build your life so that you find balance. It takes time of course.

I hope that you find these methods simple and worth your time. I cannot complain because it has really helped me in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

I noticed that prior generations were used to brushing their grievances underneath the rug, and accepting that this is just a part of life. Things change as we evolved as a society. We began to question and seek out answers. This is when change began.

When I was faced in a similar situation a good friend of mine suggested that I write out what I was feeling. It did not matter whether it was written properly, but all the grief and torment that I was facing needed to be placed onto a plain document. It did not matter if I typed it or of I decided to use a pen and paper. I went through a traumatic time in my life too, and it helps. I would write out all that I was feeling then shred the document. I did not need to go back to read it either. Surprisingly, this is the one advice that I give to anyone that is going through a very difficult time.

If you are one to note your progress then I suggest that you make a journal to track your progress. You would be surprised how much writing can heal you. It may also lead you to discover new things about yourself. Sometimes we do not give ourselves enough credit – we are a lot more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” – Unknown